How To Handle Arguments In A Long Distance Relationship

Every relationship will have their issues. There is not one single couple in this world that has not had an argument. That’s a fact. If you come across someone on the street that tells you otherwise, then, they perhaps never had a real relationship. Because the fact of the matter is, though two people may well be very much in love with each other, disagreements, whether big or small, will inevitably arise at one point or another. As a matter of fact, if you suddenly just stop arguing and your partner just completely shuts down, it may well be an indication of worse things such as the fact that they just don’t give a damn anymore.

You see, arguments arise not only because there is something off or unresolved in a relationship, rather, these disagreements that arise, more often than not, are driven by emotions. No, allow me to state it early: emotions in themselves are not bad; it is how we act upon these emotions that makes all the difference. Hence, one has to realize that major fights are often due to small, unresolved issues that managed to emotionally creep up at an inopportune time.

Thus, this leads to the main point of my blog article: how do we handle arguments in a long distance relationship? Though these ideas that I will be giving are not limited to long distance relationships alone, I believe it would be most beneficial to those who are in a long distance relationship. Why? Because being in a long distance relationship in itself is hard enough, but having an argument with someone you cannot touch or hold is much harder. It makes you feel more alone than you already are. Furthermore, being away from each other only aggravates the conflict further for the reason that your words can be misunderstood much more easily and that truth be told, you simply are dealing with the fact that you wish nothing more in the world than to be together, which you, unfortunately, are not yet.

So, how should you deal with it? How do you resolve the issues and disagreements that you are having with the love of your life who just so happened to be about a thousand miles away? Well, I suggest following these simple guidelines:

1.     Set some ground rules

As a couple, you need to agree to establish some ground rules in your relationship. Given that you are in a long distance relationship, it is important that you clarify what it is you wish to happen between the two of you despite the fact that you are both far away from each other. This should include how often you will be visiting each other? Who will relocate? Are you both as committed to the relationship? The list goes on.

What you need to remember is this: you ought to clear out any possible rough edges from the very beginning so as not to let these things cause a rift between the two of you in the long run. It is also a way to safeguard both your feelings. You don’t want to end up with false hopes and crushed dreams, do you? I bet nobody does. Therefore, it is much better to discuss these things upfront than deal with the consequences of not talking about it much later on.

2.     Quit the blame game

If you are engaged in a heated debate with each other over one thing, avoid playing the blame card or retelling each other the nasty things they’ve done to you in the past as it only stirs up more ill feelings towards one another. It is, of course, human nature to switch into the defensive mode if you feel threatened or are concealing the pain. But, instead, discuss the issue calmly and be open with your feelings to each other.

You can start of by saying, “I feel sad because…” or “This makes me think like….” By acknowledging your thoughts and feelings, you are letting your partner become aware of your side without lashing it all out on them. In addition to that, you are owning up to your part and that you are, in fact, reaching out to inform them of how you truly feel—which makes it easier for you to find a common ground or see that the problem is not any of you, but something apart from the two of you. I mean, after all, you are both in this relationship and you should be working towards making things work, not waging war or holding grudges against each other.

3.     Never go to bed angry

When I say that you should not go to bed angry, it is not just as simple as not going to bed with feelings of anger, but it is actually not putting off any issue as soon as it comes up. While you may both be on a tight schedule or have completely opposite time zones, you both should never just leave anything unresolved, no matter how small or insignificant you may consider it to be.

You need to address all the concerns that you may have as soon as possible as this may affect the relationship more than you think. Leaving things hanging would only escalate the ill feelings that you or your partner may have and it may give your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend the wrong impression that you must simply not care about him or her anymore.

For this reason, you have to talk it out and try to understand your differing points. By doing so, you can actually reach a solution that will work for the both of you. Although, in some cases, I am aware that it is hard to find a common ground that will be of equal footing. Hence, if you find it difficult to work with the idea, consider giving in. I know that it may initially be a great blow on your ego, but is it really more important than keeping your beloved happy?

I’m not saying that you should just let it all slide and give them the upper hand, unless you want to build resentment that will explode in your face and wreak havoc on your relationship in the future. However, every once in a while, you ought to learn to just give in to him or her. It wouldn’t hurt to be at peace with your sweetie, now, would it?

The key here is to discuss problems and work on them together, instead of throwing bombs at each other. Bear in mind that you are both in the same team, so, his or her win is your win in as much as his or her loss is your loss as well.

You cannot have a relationship without arguments and you’d be silly enough to think you can just avoid them. Disagreements are simply a part of life and love. If you blatantly try to avoid any and all arguments or put them off in the hopes of it magically disappearing, then you are making a huge mistake because it will eventually come back to haunt you in the worst possible way in the future. If you do not discuss your concerns and resolve these problems together, it will manifest in other ways—which will only hurt you both more.

If you truly want your long distance relationship to work, you ought to set some ground rules and keep an open line of communication. Listen to each other—not just the words that your partner is saying—but more so, what their words are really trying tell you. Be open and share your feelings with each other. This is how you should best handle any argument in your relationship. Ultimately, it is just how true love works. So, talk it out and make it work. Go on and get started! ;)

How to Make A Guy Lose Interest In You

We have experienced it all before. For a selected few individuals, it may seem like a regular issue to be dealt with, while for others, it is nothing but an occasional dilemma that needs to be resolved gracefully. The fact of the matter is, at one point in our lives, we, women, have experienced being adored, liked, or fancied by someone who we simply had no feelings for—and that is an understatement.

It could be a good friend that you simply just have no romantic feelings for or it could be a complete stranger that you, to put it bluntly, have no sparks with. Either way, as women, we are more often than not, accustomed to getting unwanted attention from members of the opposite sex.  And just like the emotional beings that we are, we may at times, find it difficult to reject someone without breaking their heart or self-esteem in the process.

Thus, the question is, how do we get rid of this male specie with as little drama or violence as possible? Though there are no surefire ways to make a guy lose interest in you, I have come up with a couple of suggestions that may help in letting a guy down in the most gentlest of ways imaginable. At least, that’s what we are hoping for.

1.     Talk about someone of the opposite sex

When I say that you talk about someone of the opposite sex, it can be your crush, your boyfriend or just a figment of your imagination. The underlying idea here is for you to constantly and repeatedly rave about your boyfriend, whether he is real or make-believe, in the hopes that he would take the hint that you are into someone else.

You have to use your imagination, if the situation calls for it. You can talk about how wonderful your guy is and how you love him very much. You can and should even try to bring up your boyfriend into every possible conversation that you have with this other guy, in order for him to hopefully realize that he doesn’t stand a chance and cannot compete with the man in your life.

I know that it may seem quite harsh, especially if he has professed his feelings for you. On the other hand, believe me when I say that it is much better to get things out of the way and put an end to this other boy’s fantasies of you as much as possible.

2.     Talk about things that he dislikes

While some boys would get the hint and give up on their hopes of getting together with you when you repeatedly talk about another guy, there are a few boys who may require a little more push away from your direction. Needless to say, you ought to consciously make an effort to get him to find nothing even remotely attractive or pleasing about you.

You should in no way inquire about what he likes or doesn’t like in a girl because this question might just make matters worse by sending him mixed signals. Thus, you have to be observant in deducing what it is about a girl that would drive him running off to the opposite direction. While not all of those that he dislikes might work, especially if he already likes you, you can subtly act on the things that he finds most irritating. Basically, you must act the part of the kind of girl that he simply cannot stand to be around with.

You can talk about liking the things that he obviously doesn’t like. The main objective of this strategy is to eliminate any probability in his mind that you can or are compatible with each other. Hence, you need to make it a point to clearly let him see that you have nothing in common.

3.     Establish your distance away from him

I know what you are probably thinking. There are some guys out there who just have grand delusions of being able to compete with your guy or that you may in fact have more things in common with him than what it appears, thus, it is clearly advisable in this scenario to establish your distance away from him.

In distancing yourself from him, you are letting him know that the silly romantic notions of the two of you in his head is just not going to happen in this lifetime—or even in the next. By establishing that you do not exactly want to be around him, it may eventually dawn on him that he is much better off setting his eyes on someone else other than you.

4.     Avoid sending any flirtatious vibes

Should you be neighbors, classmates, or coworkers, and establishing your distance deems to be rather difficult or tricky in your case, you should opt to be very mindful of your words and actions around him.

You see, when a guy is into you, he would more often than not try to read something more into what you say or do. This is often a common psychological mechanism that males would consciously or subconsciously do in order to protect their ego. They would, at several instances, misconstrue your words or actions in the hopes of fitting into their fantasy of one day being with you.

Therefore, I suggest that you avoid any topic that would be too personal or romantically driven and avoid any physical contact—be it giggling at his jokes, looking directly into his eyes or touching him on the knee—as this may be misunderstood as you flirting with him. In addition to that, you should try talking to him and acting around him as you would talk to your little brother or a random stranger, in that way he would not get any vibes that he, perhaps, stands any chance with you at all and should just give up.

5.     Tell him off directly

Now, should his behavior be too much for you to put up with much longer, I guess you have no other alternative but to tell him flat out to get lost. While this suggestion should only be considered as a last resort, if having him around is creeping you out and you cannot ignore his actions any further, I urge you to go ahead, crush his hopes, and break his heart straight out.

Sometimes, there are just those boys who no matter how hard you try continue to refuse the idea and reject the reality that you simply are not interested. Hence, I suggest that if you ever get to this point, you be wary of him, keep yourself somewhere safe and with trusted company and cut off all known ties with him.

I know that it is difficult for us, women, to see someone get their hearts broken, let alone be the cause behind it, however, if after exhausting all means, the guy just can’t take the hint, it’s best to set the record straight. After all, if he were a true friend or a decent human being at all, he would take the hint early on and simply move on—instead of pestering you and wreaking havoc into your mental state. Good luck to you all and I wish you some peace of mind!

3 Signs That He Wants To Break Up With You

Throughout the centuries, the male species has always been portrayed as the strong and the brave macho by the media. On the contrary, however, when it comes to breaking up with a girl, they usually turn into such a wuss. It appears that an alarming number of men all over the world cannot bring themselves to look at you straight in the eye and say the words, “I want to break up”, “I don’t want to be with you anymore”, or “It’s over”. Instead, they tend to seek out other, more indirect means for an exit strategy. Who would have thought that they had the flair for the dramatic, huh?

Now, you wouldn’t be reading this blog post if you do not suspect that your guy is behaving in a strange manner? Perhaps, as much as you wish to deny that this could be the end of your fairytale romance, there is that pain in your gut telling you that the end has come.

 Ladies, I urge you to trust your instincts. The members of the opposite sex can and will probably start calling you names, like you are crazy, silly, or paranoid, but the fact of the matter is, when you feel that there is something wrong, more often than not, something is definitely up. It is just that they can’t man up and bring themselves to tell you the truth—It’s over. Sayonara. But rather, they would much rather send off all these signals, hoping that you would take a hint and break-up with them. Some men would even go to great lengths to make you despise them so much, all in the hopes that you would be the one to break off the relationship first.

It is truly sad and disheartening to realize that the boy you put on such a pedestal, the man you thought you would spend the rest of your life with for real this time around, and the guy who initially claimed he was different from the other guys you’ve dated in the past, winds up a coward just like the rest.

So, I’ve gathered up enough courage to encode this article in the hopes that this would pave the way into helping you decode your man’s most baffling behavior.

1.     His Words and Actions Do Not Match

Indeed, it is the truth: When your once oh-so-cute-sweetie-pie no longer does what he says he will, it is a clear indication that there is something wrong in your relationship. You see, I’ve been one-of-the-boys for several years. Yes, I have always felt more comfortable hanging out with my guy friends and playing with video games, toy cars and plastic guns. I’ve been around them for so long that I’ve winded up picking up on their strange behavior. I mean, sure, for most girls, the way a guy thinks and acts may be a complete mystery, but for me, it is just all too familiar that my boy buddies used to joke around that I was probably a woman on the outside, but a man in the inside.

So, let me expound on it further for you to better understand what I am referring to. Typically, when a guy is into you, they would be willing to jump off the bridge, swallow burning hot charcoal, or fly from the North to the South Pole at your beck and call. They would never be too busy for you. However, when a guy starts to lose his interest in you, he will make up a lot of excuses as to why he can’t be bothered to talk to you right now or what not.

Basically, as most of my guy friends—who shall remain anonymous to protect their identities and strategies—have said, when a guy is not into the girl anymore and he just wants to call it quits on the relationship, he just doesn’t feel the need to go out of his way for her anymore. Enough said.

2.     You Become the Bad Guy (I mean, Girl)

Is your boyfriend spending less time with you these days than he used to? Is he constantly too busy or too tired to talk to you? Does he spend an increasing amount of time with his friends or playing video games? If you answered yes to all three of these questions: You can be certain that he is using the time old tactic of making you into the bad guy in the relationship.

The thing is, you cannot win him over no matter what you try to do. You can’t please him even if you try to bend yourself backwards, because the truth of the matter is, he just wants to get rid of you.

You see, when a guy can’t bring himself to break up with his girlfriend, he tries to deflect, in the hopes that you’d set him free from being in this rut with you. It’s simple, really: he doesn’t have enough balls to tell you straight out that he wants out, so instead, he will make it seem like you are being too clingy, needy, or just plain crazy that he can’t be bothered being with you anymore or the ideal scenario is, you’ll get tired of being treated like the bad guy for loving him so much that you, yourself, would set his relationship chains loose and free once and for all.

This strategy is the most familiar of them all.  Cowards from all around the globe have used this tactic to get rid of their girlfriends since time immemorial. And the funny thing is, it always seems to work. That’s how you wind up hearing about this girl getting dumped in the end even after enduring a lot of pain and obstacles in and for the relationship. It’s simple psychology: you cannot fix what does not want fixing. In the same manner, you cannot resolve issues in the relationship, if it is created not to be resolved but a key to one’s freedom—free from the guilt of being labeled the dumper.

Personally, I find this psychological manipulation that a lot of guys tend to pull on girls to be extremely cruel. Having a guy turn you into the bad guy for being unsupportive, selfish, uncaring, and the like is similar to being tortured. You see, when a person expires, they feel the pain and then go, but when the person is tortured, they experience the pain in a prolonged period of time before they hopefully and eventually fade away into the light. Similarly, with this strategy, the girl doesn’t just feel the rush of pain when the relationship ends, but she feels the pain much earlier than that. And if she manages to survive through the end of the relationship, she will most likely have doubts and fears that won’t go away, her self-esteem and her self-confidence will diminish greatly if it hasn’t already ceased to exist entirely, and she will for the most part, be damaged for the rest of her life—if it isn’t repaired by the kind soul of a sincere and honest man early enough.

3.     The Future Becomes Unclear

I don’t have to go through much detail on this one. It pretty much speaks for itself. When a guy doesn’t want to be with you anymore, his once clearly planned out goals for the two of you becomes as dim as the black hole. He will try several if not all means unimaginable simply to be able to avoid the mention and discussion of his future—at least, the one with you in it.

Furthermore, his family and friends will become increasingly cold towards you. Now, if you don’t already know, guys talk to their friends and family about what is going on in their lives and like girls, they, too, share relationship woes and dilemmas with others. On the other hand, whereas girls would repeatedly work it out and desperately find ways to smoothen the bumps in a relationship on their own before they run to their friends for ideas and moral support, guys would do the exact opposite. At the first inkling that he wants out, he will go telling his family and friends that it’s not working out between the two of you and that he wants out. Thus, his family and friends would naturally distance themselves from you for the very simple reason that you will not be around long enough and they do not have to mingle with you in family gatherings in the future.

Lastly, if you try to ask questions about your future together and he finds no immediate way to be able to shoot your question down, he will give you a vague, almost diplomatic answer, then, turn towards other topics of his supposed interest. He will not give you anything definite to hold on to and he certainly can’t be bothered to clearly plan it all out or exert any effort towards making you feel safe and secure in your relationship. After all, that’s the point of the entire thing: He wants you to go away, not to stay.

Well, I guess that’s that, girls. You have to keep yourself vigilant enough to recognize these telltale signs. So, here’s a shout-out to us—and hoping that our princes don’t turn out to be frogs. I wish you all the best in love!

3 Things to Consider Before Getting Into a Long Distance Relationship

We have heard it all before, or so we think. Relationships are never easy. Managing to keep a relationship can be quite tricky. But handling a long distance relationship is another story entirely. Why is that so?

Well, for one thing, long distance relationships are different from regular, close proximity relationships in that there is a great amount of time where human touch is absent. Furthermore, a long distance relationship is not your average relationship where you can just go on a hiatus for a couple of days or even a week, without causing any mental and emotional distress to your partner. That is, of course, unless a state of panic on your lover’s behalf is what you are actually aiming for.

Suffice to say, long distance relationships are more special for the reason that it requires a consistent dose of tender love and care. It is not the typical sort of relationship that you would or rather, should get into if you are not serious about the man or woman you are with and if you are not sincere in your intentions.

I know that big question that must be going through your minds: Why? Do you find yourself sitting from across the computer screen, your forehead forming into a frown, and wondering what is so special about being in a long distance relationship in the first place?

Without further agonizing your happy trail of thoughts if you are on the verge of getting into a long distance relationship, I have come up with 3 things that you ought to consider before sealing that deal:

1.     Level of Commitment

Make no mistake about it. In other kinds of relationships, your level of commitment or your partner’s level of commitment can be like a roller coaster ride with your commitment levels skyrocketing only every now and then. In a long distance relationship, however, the level of your commitment as well as your partner’s must constantly be on a high.

Why is that the case? Well, you don’t go into war without bringing sufficient food, medicine and ammunition, now, do you? Similarly, you don’t set off into a faraway land and leave behind your partner only to break his or her heart in the process. That’s just plain evil.

When you leave someone behind like in the case of a long distance relationship, you can’t just expect him or her not to worry as to whether or not you are going to fall for the charms of another person wherever you may be going. You cannot just foolishly believe that your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend would feel no grief with you leaving him or her behind. More often than not, as the days go by, they will begin to fear and question himself or herself and whether you are serious about your relationship.  After all, nobody wants to be taken for a fool, pining for a loved one who may well just wind up to be gallivanting around with other men or women in unknown territories.

Hence, your level of commitment must be constantly high and must be expressed in both words and actions at all times. The feelings of those involved in a long distance relationship must never be toyed around with or their hopes strung along with until you find someone else in that new place.

Being in a long distance relationship, you ought to be very committed to making the relationship work despite the distance. You need to give each other the kind of love that doesn’t falter—not just easily, but a love that does not falter at all.

2.     Degree of Loyalty

As I have already mentioned, long distance relationships require a consistently high level of commitment and with such a commitment, it entails a strong degree of loyalty.

You cannot just simply check out other boys or girls or go on those so-called friendly dates with members of the opposite sex without your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend feeling even just a slight tinge of irritation and jealousy. After all, who wants to feel as though your partner, who is already a hundred miles away, is drifting farther and farther away from you and possibly into someone else’s arms? Of course, no one does. Nobody in his or her right heart and mind would just let something like that happen. And we are not about to take even the slightest, possibly slim chance of risking it.

You see, when you are in a long distance relationship, you tend to be more protective and wary of others who may seek to lure your long distance partner into their warm embrace and what not. Thus, as compared to a close proximity relationship, a long distance relationship undergoes more intense tests of loyalty and should, therefore, not just be taken lightly.

A mistake, a lie, or even a small fraction of what could have been or was a short-term case of a wandering eye would be greatly magnified in a long distance relationship. In such a situation, it would be so much harder to make it up to your partner and more so, to rebuild the trust.

Needless to say, in a long distance relationship, you and your long distance partner’s character and loyalty will be tested immensely. So, if you are not really the one-woman kind of guy or the one-man kind of girl, you should think twice before getting into a long distance relationship and save yourself and others the agony from your unfaithfulness streak.

3.     Steady Goals and Future Plans

This brings me to my next point: a long distance relationship requires not just a consistently high level of commitment and a high degree of loyalty, but a steady set of goals and future plans.

As opposed to other forms of romantic relationships, a long distance relationship would amount to nothing if you and your partner do not have a steady set of goals in order to be together or any definite future plans like eventually both settling down in one location. I mean, really, why would you get into a long distance relationship and bear the pains of being away from your beloved if you don’t have any sincere intentions of being with each other for good? It just doesn’t make sense.

Hence, should you be thinking about getting into a long distance relationship, consider not just both your level of commitment and loyalty but as well as your future plans—such as whether you really want to spend the rest of your lives together and marry, raise a family, and grow old with each other. In addition to that, you also need to set crystal-clear and rock-steady goals and work very hard to achieve that. You cannot and should not just leave it all up to chance—or you just might miss out on the best thing that could have ever happened in your life.

Indeed, being in a long distance relationship could be very challenging, but it could also be very fulfilling in the sense that the distance would have done so much to test your characters as well as your levels of commitment and loyalty. And thus, should your love for each other be true, you would always find ways to make it work—and then, you can be certain, as distance and time has proven, that you’ve got yourself a priceless catch. So, don’t just give up and never ever let go of a love as precious as what you and your long distance partner have!

5 Valentine Gift Ideas for Long Distance Couples

Ahhh… Yes, Valentines Day draws near! As centuries past, Saint Valentine’s Day has become known as the day of candy hearts, bouquets of roses, love letters and greeting cards. For lovers, it is yet another annual event in the calendar that permits such publicized display of affection. Moreover, all over the world, it is known as the one day every year that is dedicated to the expression and celebration of love.

Indeed, Valentines Day is a remarkable day to behold. With the red and pink heart-shaped decorations and the adorable Cupid images, it is as if people from all over the world are inflicted with the love fever. But what happens if you are miles and miles away from your loved one? How do you manage to celebrate and express your love to your beloved on such a highly publicized occasion?

I have decided to share some ideas that could, perhaps, help you get through the day without a fight, an argument, or a broken heart. But before I begin, you have to realize that Valentines Day is an important day in every couple’s relationship. As much as some wish to ignore the traditions and deviate from the norms, the fact remains that the celebration of Valentines Day is crucial in any lover’s calendar.

It is that one-day every year all over the world that is devoted to reliving the sparks in one’s relationship with all the wooing and the giving of gifts. It is as if you are transported into the days of the fulfillment of the courtship rituals all over again. How nostalgic, isn’t it?

Nevertheless, does it not seem almost too difficult a task to complete given that you may well be oceans and oceans apart from your boyfriend or girlfriend? Thus, you cannot just as easily cook and prepare their favorite breakfast in bed, together with a bouquet of their favorite type of flowers and a box of those delectable, imported chocolates, now, could you?

So, how do you take part in the Valentines Day fever and what possible gifts can you give your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend on such a fine, romantic day? Well, here are some ideas that you just might find to work wonders for the two of you:

1.     Valentine Date via Webcam-to-Webcam

It’s a date! Yes, you can schedule a date with your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend through the use of the video-to-video calls that are free to use and can be download online from some popular providers like Skype, Yahoo, MSN, among others.

You can agree on a time for your date in advance that coincides with your schedules or opposing time zones. You can even set-up the ambience by going to your favorite date places or you can do it at the comfort of your own residences.

You can opt to buy the same or at least similar meals that you can enjoy eating together. You can even have food delivered. It’s up to you—and how imaginative and creative you can be.

Then, you can have a movie date by having each of you pick out a movie and downloading both of the movies in advance. I say that you should download the movies in advance so as to save you from having to wait for the movie to continue streaming while you are in the middle of your date. You can also opt to simply share your screen through the screen-sharing option available through Skype and other known messenger programs or you can face the laptop to a widescreen television in your respective abodes.

2.     Valentine Video Messages

If you unfortunately happen to have to go to work or go to school on the day of Valentines and are unable to schedule an online date, you could, at the very least, send each other video messages. It could be a personal video letter or even a compilation of video clips of the two of you together or what not.

You can even edit the video message to suit your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend’s tastes with the use of video editing programs from Adobe, Corel, and a lot more. You can edit them through Microsoft Video Maker program or Mac’s iMovie application as well.

3.     Valentine Photo Montage

Another alternative to the video messages would be the creation of a photomontage. All you need to do is collect photos of the two of you and you can decide whether to include all of them in your montage, pick out a few memorable ones, or use the one photograph that stands out the most.

If you are skilled in the use of such photo-editing programs such as Adobe Photoshop and the like, you may let your artistic abilities do the magic. However, if you are not so good with any of the professional photo-editing software, like myself, there is still hope for you. There are several online websites like Picnik.com that allows you to simply upload the photographs into their database and they will do the rest. Most of the websites that specialize on photo editing even have some other amazing features that you can choose from.

4.     Valentine Delivery

Now, should you have some extra cash or you just want to spend some moolah on your long distance honey, there are several wonderful gifts that you can find online and that you could have delivered straight into their doorstep.

There are the traditional flowers, chocolates, or stuffed toys that you can order online and send to your loved ones from across the miles. You may choose from a wide array of gifts: it can be those big, expensive packages that would be a sight to behold or a simple yet especially picked out personalized gift that would warm their hearts. Whatever your gift may be, it is the thought behind your gift that counts—though it honestly wouldn’t hurt to get him or her a gift that they will actually like, would it?

5.     Valentine Trip

Are you feeling like a big spender or you just simply can’t bear the thought of being apart from your sweetie on Valentines Day? Well, the answer is simple: go ahead, book that flight, and surprise them with a visit.

You should remember to book your flight in advance or check around with various airlines to look for a possibility of scoring some promos or you can just use your free miles, if you have them.

This has got to be one of the more pricey gifts that you can get for your long distance love on Valentines Day, but the feeling of being together on the Day of Hearts and the happiness of seeing and holding each other again is just simply priceless. Don’t you agree?

So, go ahead, start planning and get packing for a splendid day of hugs and kisses!

3 Sex Alternatives for Couples in Long Distance Relationships

3 Sex Alternatives for Couples in Long Distance Relationships

We have heard it all before… sex is a biological need. It is an inevitable aspect of human nature. “Hell, yeah!” I could already hear the men exclaiming. Meanwhile, the women would probably be discreetly nodding in agreement or thinking to themselves, “of course, I love him and therefore, I like having sex with him.”

But whether you agree to it or not, the fact is, sex is a vital element in a relationship. And although there are a few known cases of couples that have managed to live without sexual intercourse, it is the exception rather than the rule.

As I have unfortunately learned throughout the years, being apart can lead to lies, deception, and infidelity. I have personally seen a number of long distance couples inevitable end their once oh-so-sweet relationship on a sour note because more often than not, one of them if not both, have lost that so-called romantic spark. It appears to be the same old spiel: one of lovebirds winds up succumbing to the consoling comfort or electrifying touch of someone of the opposite sex who was in close proximity to them at that moment. I’d know. My first long distance ex-boyfriend of two years did just that.

So, have you ever wondered how you can possibly manage to pull off a way to spice up the romance despite the distance? Do you want to make sure that he still thinks of you as the sexy fox that you are? Do you want to know if you are still the gorgeous stud that you are who turns her on?

It all boils down to passion and creativity. If you are truly committed to making your long distance relationship work, you would give in to your primal instincts and take these unconventional sex pointers to mind:

1.     Webcam-to-Webcam Sex

Thanks to the technology of this age, we are now able to see our loved ones from across great distances in real time. All you need is a working desktop computer or if your budget allows you, the more comfortable laptop which you can take with you anywhere. Afterwards, you need to download a video messenger program like Skype, MSN, Yahoo, among others, that provides free video calls.

Then, you certainly would also need to make sure that both of you have webcams, be it external for your desktop computer or an internal webcam for your laptop, which most models of laptops have these days anyway.

Furthermore, you want to make sure that you have a steady and reliable internet connection. It would be better if you had a wireless router, so, you can connect to it from anywhere and you don’t have to position yourself near the wall while you keep the deed on.

 With those three simple things, you and your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend can enjoy having sexual intercourse in the virtual world. You can go take a bath or shower together—just make sure that you place your laptop somewhere steady so that it doesn’t topple over and situate it somewhere far enough not to get it soaking wet but near enough for you to still get a good view of each other.

You can do it in bed too. The possibilities are infinite. You just have to have a creative and sensual mind.

Trust me, webcam-to-webcam sex can be a lot of fun. My fiancé and I do it on a regular basis. Kinky, don’t you think?

2.     Phone Sex

Of course, who wouldn’t know about the ever-famous maneuver: the phone sex? It is a tried and tested formula for getting your partner turned on with the use of your sultry voice and your dirty, sexually stimulating words.

If you have the finances to splurge on burning the telephone wires with your sweetie, then, by all means, do so. You can even play guessing game or what not. Phone sex is stimulating for the reason that it gives you that added advantage in the fact that you cannot see your partner and have more freedom to visually experiment using the power of your carnal mind.

3.     SMS Sex

Have you ever been too stressed in the workplace? Do you want to be able to somewhat release all that that pent up energy? Text messaging is like the version of a quickie in a long distance relationship. Moreover, it is the most discreet of all of the three because you don’t run the risk of nudity exposure should anyone walk on you while you are doing the deed virtually and you do not run the risk of having all your kinky fantasies from being overheard by anyone with bionic ears.

Quite frankly, sex via the exchange of text messages, otherwise known as sex-ting, leaves you with a lot of liberty—you can picture him or her in any way you choose and even fit the way you want him or her to sound like in your mind. It’s a virtual wonder that you can do with your sweetie through the use of simply any SMS-capable mobile phone.

Furthermore, through the continuous advancement of mobile technology, you can even send each other MMS messages, if it gets you on better. You could send each other photos, videos, voice recordings, and what not that would literally have you looking forward to the next time that you get to be with each other again.

Well, these are just three of the sexy and enjoyable activities that you can do with your long distance lover. It is all up to you. Just because you are not physically with each other does not necessarily mean that the fun has to stop, does it? You just have to be more open, creative, and imaginative as you explore each other mentally, emotionally, and psychologically in a very sensual way, virtually—until you can do it in reality, that is.

In a nutshell, these ideas can basically help in filling both your sexual appetites sans the lies, the deception, or the infidelity. Plus, it gives you ways to understand each other and communicate about your sexual needs and wants. So that you can confidently look forward to the next time you are in each other’s arms and you can really get your freak on with each other—literally. Get it on, have fun and let your imagination soar! ;)

3 Things that Every Long Distance Boyfriend Should Know

3 Things that Every Long Distance Boyfriend Should Know

Long distance relationships are a piece of work. Many of us who are in a long distance relationship would find ourselves nodding in unison at that indisputable fact. But whether you are living together or are a hundred miles apart, there are simply some things that one can’t do without in a relationship. Of course, given that it is truly a serious relationship and not a merely fleeting romance.

We all know that men and women are wired differently. From the biological make-up to the emotional responses down to the cognitive thought processes and the applied behavior, we are well aware that males and females are distinct and unique in their own right.

Needless to say, we can find ourselves in a rut, should we fail to realize that the manner of approach among the sexes varies and cannot necessarily be used interchangeably. For this reason, I find myself having to write a brief exposition aimed at assisting the members of the male species that are involved in a long distance relationship. This should be fun, don’t you think?

If you find yourself reading this, it is either your long distance girlfriend was clever enough to sneak this for you to read in the hopes that you would take the hint or you are regrettably in the rocks, forced in some alternate universe to seek out advice on the World Wide Web regarding how to save your long distance relationship, if not to at least understand why it has failed or why it is currently hanging by on a very loose thread. I’d rather hope that your reason would be the former, rather than the latter.

Moving on, allow me to say that you are not alone. A growing number of people from around the world find themselves in a long distance relationship. I know of quite a few friends and colleagues that are in a long distance relationship or have been in a long distance relationship at one point or another. Even I, myself, have been in a long distance relationship a couple of times. Truth be told, I am in one right now.

I know what you’re thinking. Do you wonder how it is possible to make a long distance relationship work? What exactly are some of the things that every long distance boyfriend should know? Well, let me enumerate the top 3 things that your long distance girlfriend could only wish you knew:

1.     Reassurance

Every girl in a relationship, especially in a long distance one, would need constant reassurance from their partners, whether they admit to it or not. The fact of the matter is, when you are far away, we would like to know that it’s not just us you left behind temporarily—but your heart as well. I don’t mean that in a literal aspect, of course, but you ought to get the picture.

We would like to know and feel that you still care about us, that you still have only eyes for us, and that you will be back to be with us for good in the not-so-distant future. It gives us, women, the strength to cope from being away from you and it arms us with the power to ward off nearby men offering some sort of comfort.

Yes, unlike men, women would like to be constantly wooed and reassured that they are, in fact, still the apple of your eye. After all, you are in a faraway land with sometimes exotic and unknown women, and we would like to establish our superiority among them. It’s not that we are insecure, but we, women, also have that sense of pride.

Reassurance helps in keeping the females happy and avoids them from looking elsewhere for some consolation or hint of love. So, if your girlfriend is constantly bugging you and repeatedly bombarding you with questions like asking you whether you still love her and things of that nature, then that’s a clear sign that they want your reassurance.

2.     Time

Yes, we need your time. Who doesn’t? It is hard enough that you are a thousand miles away from us, but what is even more difficult is if you are in a completely different time zone. We, women, would like to feel that we are still an integral part of your daily life and not just some intermission number that you try to squeeze into your busy workload or worst, someone you just happen to remember when you are bored with your life.

Women would like to know that they are an intangible part of you. We want to feel as though you value our existence in your life and that you would still give us your undivided attention at any day just as we would give ours to you.

We want to feel wanted. When you give your long distance girlfriend your undivided attention and time on a daily basis, it makes us feel that you care enough to exert such an effort to keep us with you. It makes us aware that you know that we are incredibly precious and should not be taken for granted, unless you want to push us away and go looking for the recognition we know we deserve elsewhere.

3.     Commitment

Now, this word is a handful to deal with. We have heard several tales throughout the ages about the great lengths that male species have been known to travel to escape their so-called greatest fear: commitment. In a long distance relationship, therefore, it is crucial to make it evidently known to us, women, that your distance does not, in any way, translate to cowardice or abandonment.

We want a real man. That, does not necessarily translate to a Casanova in bed, but rather, a real man is one who is willing to face the entire world, stand tall, and exclaim, “I belong to her and only her forevermore.” I know, it sounds cheesy, doesn’t it? But women would like to know that they are not just taken for a joy ride. Instead, we would like to know that you would, in fact, permanently settle down and be with each other for the rest of your life—and not just right now.

We don’t want to be known as Ms. Right Now. We want to be known as The One, Ms. Right, and more importantly, your future Mrs.

We don’t want to invest our energies, let alone our hearts, to be in a relationship if it would just break down, especially in an emotionally draining long distance relationship one. Thus, it is important that we know that you are committed to us and that we are the girl for keeps—and that soon, you will find a way to spend the rest of your life with us.

Man, if you can do these things, I assure you that you’ve got yourself a loyal, loving, and happy woman waiting for your return. Now, get yourself over to her—pronto! ;)

The Distance

The Distance: How to Keep the Love Alive

As William Shakespeare once said, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Time and time again, this line has been passed on from one individual to another, as a means to soothe the pain of being apart from one’s loved ones. But is it really the case? Is the distance and the longing for the other simply enough to ignite immense passion inside you? I beg to differ.

In truth, being away from your loved ones—say for example, your boyfriend or your girlfriend—can be a heart-wrenching experience. Especially if you have grown so accustomed to spending a lot of time together on a regular basis. Believe me, it is tough. And though the absence will initially make you desperately cling to the love that you shared, it would, eventually fizzle down after sometime.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that being apart is a surefire ticket to heartbreak. It does, however, require dedication and hard work from both parties. I know. I know that relationships are never easy. But the degree of difficulty in keeping a long distance relationship working is up by a notch in that aspect.

Long distance relationships require more creativity to be able to pull off than close proximity relationships. That is a fact. The truth is, absence of human contact is much more psychologically and emotionally debilitating than what it is given credit for. I’m not just talking about sex. After all, have you ever had a bad day at work and all you really wanted to do was curl up into your man’s arms? Have you ever felt afraid and simply wanted to be able to hold his hand? Have you ever cried and wanted him to just kiss your tears away? If you find yourself nodding and answering yes to any of those examples, then, you’d know how important touch is in any relationship.  Needless to say, those involved in a long distance relationship have to find other unconventional ways to fill in that gap. I would know. I’ve been in a few long distance relationships. As a matter of fact, I’m in a long distance relationship right now.

So, how do you make a long distance relationship work? How exactly do you keep the love alive when you are several miles away? Well, we all know that there is no formula for love. If there were any, that person would have been the richest and most powerful person in the world by now. But being a self-proclaimed poster girl of long distance relationships, I’d have to say that constant communication is a key element that plays a crucial role in the success or failure of a long distance relationship.

As in any relationship, whether you live near or far from each other, you most certainly require constant communication with each other. I don’t just mean exchanging basic pleasantries such as “Hi, How was your day?” or “I love you, babe.” But more so, a relationship requires sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other.

When you are in a long distance relationship, it’s quite easy to fall into the trap of your busy schedules and opposite time zones. Thus, it is vital to keep each other from drifting away or feeling unwanted and unloved. After all, nobody wants to feel like they are taken for granted, now, do they?

For this reason, I have taken down about five of some the cheapest, most effective ways in which to maintain constant communication with your partner:

1.     Skype

Skype! Skype! Skype! I couldn’t stress it enough at how blessed we are to be living in the modern, technologically savvy era. Nowadays, with just a desktop computer or a laptop with a webcam and a cable broadband connection or a wireless internet dongle, you can easily see your loved ones in real time. Additionally, Skype is a free program that you can download off of the internet. It is available to both Windows and Mac users. So, how cool is that?

2.     E-mail

Yahoo, Hotmail, Gmail, and several other providers allow us to send messages to each other from across the globe—at no posting costs or delivery charges. It’s like having your own personal instant mailbox. You no longer have to painstakingly wait for days or weeks and agonizingly watch from the window until the postmaster arrives. You can send it now and it usually arrives in mere seconds. That’s got to be one speedy international mail service!

3.     Instant Messengers

YM, AOL, MSN, QQ… these are just some of the popular IM programs in the world. If you don’t have a webcam, that doesn’t mean you can’t communicate with each other in real time. You can chat with each other for several hours everyday—until your fingers ache from all that typing, that is.

4.     Social Networking Sites

Welcome to Facebook, MySpace, Bebo, and a long list of social networking sites! You can write on each other’s walls, send private messages, play online game applications, and update your statuses so that your partner knows exactly where you are and what you are doing. This also gives you a way to bond with each other and celebrate how proud you are of each other.

5.     Online SMS Messaging

With the advancement of technology comes the expansion of what was once done only through mobile phones into the World Wide Web. In this time and age, you could send free text messages to the United States, United Kingdom, and any other country in the globe—all in the comfort of your own home. Furthermore, there are some sites that offer to send free picture messages and ringtones to mobile phones. You just need to look hard enough.

Indeed, long distance relationships consistently need a bucketful of hard work and a steady dose of effort. But any kind of relationship does. The key to making or breaking a long distance relationship is communication. It all boils down to whether or not you are willing to look out of the box and delve outside of your comfort zone. And if you truly love your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’d be willing to do whatever it takes to keep the flame burning. As a wise person once said, he who truly wants something will always find a way, but he who doesn’t really sincerely want something will always find an excuse. Keep your chin up and live to love!