The Distance

The Distance: How to Keep the Love Alive

As William Shakespeare once said, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Time and time again, this line has been passed on from one individual to another, as a means to soothe the pain of being apart from one’s loved ones. But is it really the case? Is the distance and the longing for the other simply enough to ignite immense passion inside you? I beg to differ.

In truth, being away from your loved ones—say for example, your boyfriend or your girlfriend—can be a heart-wrenching experience. Especially if you have grown so accustomed to spending a lot of time together on a regular basis. Believe me, it is tough. And though the absence will initially make you desperately cling to the love that you shared, it would, eventually fizzle down after sometime.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that being apart is a surefire ticket to heartbreak. It does, however, require dedication and hard work from both parties. I know. I know that relationships are never easy. But the degree of difficulty in keeping a long distance relationship working is up by a notch in that aspect.

Long distance relationships require more creativity to be able to pull off than close proximity relationships. That is a fact. The truth is, absence of human contact is much more psychologically and emotionally debilitating than what it is given credit for. I’m not just talking about sex. After all, have you ever had a bad day at work and all you really wanted to do was curl up into your man’s arms? Have you ever felt afraid and simply wanted to be able to hold his hand? Have you ever cried and wanted him to just kiss your tears away? If you find yourself nodding and answering yes to any of those examples, then, you’d know how important touch is in any relationship.  Needless to say, those involved in a long distance relationship have to find other unconventional ways to fill in that gap. I would know. I’ve been in a few long distance relationships. As a matter of fact, I’m in a long distance relationship right now.

So, how do you make a long distance relationship work? How exactly do you keep the love alive when you are several miles away? Well, we all know that there is no formula for love. If there were any, that person would have been the richest and most powerful person in the world by now. But being a self-proclaimed poster girl of long distance relationships, I’d have to say that constant communication is a key element that plays a crucial role in the success or failure of a long distance relationship.

As in any relationship, whether you live near or far from each other, you most certainly require constant communication with each other. I don’t just mean exchanging basic pleasantries such as “Hi, How was your day?” or “I love you, babe.” But more so, a relationship requires sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other.

When you are in a long distance relationship, it’s quite easy to fall into the trap of your busy schedules and opposite time zones. Thus, it is vital to keep each other from drifting away or feeling unwanted and unloved. After all, nobody wants to feel like they are taken for granted, now, do they?

For this reason, I have taken down about five of some the cheapest, most effective ways in which to maintain constant communication with your partner:

1.     Skype

Skype! Skype! Skype! I couldn’t stress it enough at how blessed we are to be living in the modern, technologically savvy era. Nowadays, with just a desktop computer or a laptop with a webcam and a cable broadband connection or a wireless internet dongle, you can easily see your loved ones in real time. Additionally, Skype is a free program that you can download off of the internet. It is available to both Windows and Mac users. So, how cool is that?

2.     E-mail

Yahoo, Hotmail, Gmail, and several other providers allow us to send messages to each other from across the globe—at no posting costs or delivery charges. It’s like having your own personal instant mailbox. You no longer have to painstakingly wait for days or weeks and agonizingly watch from the window until the postmaster arrives. You can send it now and it usually arrives in mere seconds. That’s got to be one speedy international mail service!

3.     Instant Messengers

YM, AOL, MSN, QQ… these are just some of the popular IM programs in the world. If you don’t have a webcam, that doesn’t mean you can’t communicate with each other in real time. You can chat with each other for several hours everyday—until your fingers ache from all that typing, that is.

4.     Social Networking Sites

Welcome to Facebook, MySpace, Bebo, and a long list of social networking sites! You can write on each other’s walls, send private messages, play online game applications, and update your statuses so that your partner knows exactly where you are and what you are doing. This also gives you a way to bond with each other and celebrate how proud you are of each other.

5.     Online SMS Messaging

With the advancement of technology comes the expansion of what was once done only through mobile phones into the World Wide Web. In this time and age, you could send free text messages to the United States, United Kingdom, and any other country in the globe—all in the comfort of your own home. Furthermore, there are some sites that offer to send free picture messages and ringtones to mobile phones. You just need to look hard enough.

Indeed, long distance relationships consistently need a bucketful of hard work and a steady dose of effort. But any kind of relationship does. The key to making or breaking a long distance relationship is communication. It all boils down to whether or not you are willing to look out of the box and delve outside of your comfort zone. And if you truly love your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’d be willing to do whatever it takes to keep the flame burning. As a wise person once said, he who truly wants something will always find a way, but he who doesn’t really sincerely want something will always find an excuse. Keep your chin up and live to love!